Against The Other Black Knight
by FightingThunder720
Summary: Chapter 27 takes an unexpected turn when Monty Python's Black Knight shows up to fight Ike! (Oneshot)


Ike shivered, pulling his face into his collar. He knew it wasn't the cold—it was spring, and he was indoors anyways. Perhaps it was fear, perhaps anticipation. Whatever it was, it frightened him. It told him to go back. But knew he'd come on top this time. _I've fought him three times, and I've lost three times...but the third time will be different. I have the strength, the skills, the guile to combat him. I have the blessed sword Ragnell to bypass his armor. I have the secret technique of Aether to combat his Luna._ He looked up, letting out a breath. _Yes. I can win. I_ will _win._ He pushed open the doors of fate...

Or not.

The knight standing before him was clearly _not_ his father's murderer.

"Uh...excuse me?" he asked when they made no move to attack. "Do you perchance know where the Black Knight would be right now?" No response.

"...Sir?" He waved his hand in front of the knight's face, but to no avail. _Weird._ He was about to go into the chambers beyond, when a booming voice echoed through the room.

 _"None shall pass."_ Ike blinked, staring back at the motionless knight. "What?" _"None shall pass."_

"...Look, I've got no good reason to fight you. The one I'm after is the Black Knight-" _"I am the Black Knight."_ The mercenary sighed. This was going to be one of _those_ conversations, wasn't it? "The _other_ Black Knight. Now if you don't mind, _I need to get through here."_

 _"Then you shall die."_ The man suddenly charged with surprising speed—but it wasn't fast enough. Ike feinted to the side, before cleanly slicing the self-proclaimed Black Knight's sword arm clean off. "Now get out of my way," he threatened.

 _"'Tis but a scratch,"_ the knight boasted, shrugging off the grievous wound as if it were just what he said it was. "A scratch? Your arm's off!" Ike protested. He wasn't about to fight a person who was already quite literally disarmed. _"No, it isn't."_ The mercenary gaped at the knight, trying to comprehend _what on Ashera's green earth was happening here._ "W-what's _that,_ then?" he asked, gesturing at the obviously-severed arm on the floor. _"I've had worse."_ Ike inwardly facepalmed. " _Come on then, you pansy!"_

The knight picked up his sword with his other arm, charging the younger swordsman, who—with his smaller frame—easily jumped over the attack and parried the next one. With a grunt of exertion, the mercenary threw the Black Knight's blade off and took off his other arm in a single stroke. "The the goddess that's o—OW!" He cried out as he was _kicked_ in the stomach.

 _"Come on then!"_ The knight goaded in his odd accent. "...What? Why are you...?" Ike was immediately interrupted by a kick to the face. "Stop that! I've already won—" Kicked in the side. _"Oh, had enough, eh?"_ The man taunted. "Wha—I just cut your arms off! You. Don't. Have. Any. Arms. Left." _"Yes I do!"_ The so-called Black Knight was almost jovial in tone. "Look!" He wildly gesticulated towards the pair of arms on the floor. "Your arms are right—" He gasped, stumbling backwards as the knight headbutted him in the chest. "Stop it!"

 _"Chicken! Chicken!"_

The Crimean swordfighter was actually pretty riled up by that one, and as he got up he gave the knight a death glare. " _Nobody..._ calls me chicken." He lashed out, striking low and taking off the knight's leg this time. _"Right, I'll do you for that! Come 'ere!"_ The Black Knight yelled as he awkwardly hopped over towards the mercenary. "What are you gonna do, aggressively bleed on my tunic?"

 _"I'm in-VINC-ible!"_

"You're mad."

 _"The Black Knight always triumphs! Come on then—have at you!"_

With a fourth well-placed slice, Ike cut off the man's other leg. " _All right, we'll call it a draw."_

 _This is just pitiful..._ the mercenary thought as he made for the exit.

 _"Oh, oh, I see, running away, 'eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!"_

He ignored the knight's shouting, and slammed the door shut, only to be greeted by Titania. "...I take it the Black Knight wasn't in there."

"...That...depends on your definition of 'Black Knight.'"


End file.
